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As Einstein observed, “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly.�

Consider how C.S. Lewis saw this dilemma: “When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind.� Contemplate George Orwell’s similar insight: “In times of universal deceit, telling the truth will be a revolutionary act.� Perhaps Thomas Paine put it best: “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.�

Circumstances may have changed since those great thinkers were around, but sadly today Trump, Fauci, COVID vaccines and Big Pharma, transgenderism, wars in Israel and Ukraine, money, the climate and energy, and a host of other interesting and worthwhile topics are suddenly off limits because they seemingly separate us from those we care about. Without even being forcefully censored, many of us feel coerced to remain silent for fear of rejection or retaliation.  

I’ve been in echochamber churches before, and I’ve experienced shallow friendships where it’s OK to take your ball and go home when things don’t go your way. Their unwritten creed dictated complete agreement of every doctrine, theological stance, opinion and divergent views were intolerable, yet I’ve come to appreciate the fact that spiritually mature people go beyond simply tolerating opposing views; they invite people not to acquiesce but to think for themselves and to actually express their views openly. How else can we grow?

Where am I coming up with these radical ideas? This extremist position on exchanging ideas with the goal of overall personal improvement comes from Scripture:

Prov. 12:15, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,

    but a wise man listens to advice.�

Prov. 18:2, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,

    but only in expressing his opinion.�

Prov. 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend;

    profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Prov. 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron,

    and one man sharpens another.�

Somehow we have corrupted the quality of our relationships by characterizing anyone who contradicts us as combative. Hogwash. True friends are vital because they care enough to disagree -- confident people refuse to allow their differences to dissolve their bonds of community.

Shutting down and devaluing differing points of view lacks integrity, lowers the standard of authentic friendships, corrodes community and it weakens us intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Biblical relationships value debate and dialogue; just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn't mean they have attacked or victimized you, nor are they inherently evil. We gain little by prohibiting differences of opinions and surrounding ourselves with people who only reinforce every opinion we have.

Courageous relationships are risky -- sharing your thoughts requires vulnerability, but mature people know how to disagree with others without feeling the need to demonize them. It is OK to disagree with or dislike the content of what someone says, but it is immature to dislike and distance yourself from them just for what they think.

Craig Cottongim is the minister at New Song Church in Kingsport. Email him at craigcottongim@gmail.com.