We rarely pause to think about fairness when life goes well. We assume we deserve/have earned our happiness. Yet the moment there’s bad call against our team (I guess since I don’t watch sports), or a loved one receives a discouraging diagnosis, or we feel betrayed, we all say, “That’s not fair!†Here’s a little secret we don’t like, life isn’t fair.
When catastrophe strikes, we’d like to place blame somewhere. Horrible situations worsen if we think we have “done everything right†and we are innocent. An entitlement mentality only deepens our disappointments, and the delusion that we are immune to suffering creates even more misery.
As these unprovoked troubles develop, we struggle with an inescapable sorrow. Eventually we face extreme emotional exhaustion from these traumatic experiences. Solely focused on the problems, stymied and unable to envision any solution, losing hope we ask correctly, “Now what?â€
Our downward spiral into despair drains us, and we obsess over questions like: “Why†is this happening to me? “What†went wrong? “How†will we get through this? As a host of other perturbing ideas torments our mind, being overwhelmed, we often neglect to ask “Who†do we turn to?
Why not turn to God? Are we mad because He didn’t prevent the problem? Is He to blame?
The Bible is filled with passages of people raging at God, complaining about the injustice they were experiencing. Read Psalm 73 and Job Chapter 21, where the age-old criticism is raised — challenging God for allowing the wicked to prosper, enjoying the pleasures of life, while escaping the pain we are suffering from.
Yet Jesus says everyone receives blessings. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.†(Matthew 5:44-45)
God has big shoulders, and I don’t think He punishes us for our questions. If I understand it correctly, Psalm 10:1 offers an example for when we have questions that it is appropriate to be vulnerable with God and voice our frustrations, “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?â€
Life is unfair, it is very temporary, and death is the great equalizer. As Job points out, “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.’†(Job 1:20-21)
Is there a way to find comfort when life is unfair and we feel stigmatized? We know we need a better perspective, but at the time how do we develop spiritual maturity, wisdom or patience in the midst of the traumatic pain? Soaking up Scripture, praying and accepting the comforts of our community are essential.
Craig Cottongim is the minister at New Song Church in Kingsport. Email him at craigcottongim@gmail.com.
