Without trying to sound like the prophet of doom, we aren’t preparing our children for independence, we are preparing them for incarceration. Everyone pays the price when we devalue discipline.
Certainly not every child these days is a hellion, so at the risk of sounding like a crotchety old curmudgeon, the problem of disrespectful children is out of control. To be clear, I’m talking about poor attitudes, troublemaking and the rejection of respect that is rampant today, not rambunctious children simply being innocent kids.
People are fed up with ill-mannered children, not energetic kids. For example, school is back in session, but we never seem to have enough bus drivers. But this perennial issue isn’t because we’re lacking qualified drivers as a society. Few people are willing to tolerate contemptuous children or the lack of support when it comes to disciplining them.
The difficulty in recruiting/retaining bus drivers (or substitute teachers) highlights how malignant our problem with disrespect has become. Somehow we’ve managed to raise a generation of punks who our own grandparents would be ashamed of, and no one seems to bat an eye.
Why have school districts across the country abolished disciplining students? As a child if I misbehaved at school, I could expect to be disciplined at school and then again at home. Maybe schools have backed off on correction because they have lost parental support, fearing the wrath of helicopter and bulldozer parents.
On top of that, we’ve nurtured a generation of entitled “adults†who’ve never quite grown up. Man, I do sound like a grumpy old man, but I’m tired of our cultural immaturity and the fact that we are ignoring it. This problem isn’t going to fix itself, and it is only going to get worse — we are on a dangerous trajectory which won’t end well without a course correction.
Do manners really matter? Is being polite a virtuous trait? How have we failed as a culture to instill courteousness and consideration in our youth?
What has corrupted our uncivilized youth? Like Dennis Rodman’s disclaimer nearly 30 years ago, “I’m no role model.†We can’t blame it on Homer and Bart Simpson’s influence either, even if “The Simpsons†is the longest-running TV series, racking up the most seasons and episodes of any show in history.
Perhaps prioritizing etiquette, values and ethics are all on a downward spiral because of our decline in church attendance?
Where does the societal responsibility lay for rearing respectful young adults? At our feet. We can’t expect our schools or our churches to raise our kids for us. Respect begins in the home.
Many parents struggle with actually parenting, because they are tempted to be their child’s friends instead. But these “cool†parents aren’t doing their children any favors. “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death. A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.†(Proverbs 19:18-20)
Not many people “like†discipline. Self-discipline is a struggle. Proper diet and exercise are fundamental to our well-being, yet why do people often pay for personal trainers and coaches? Because they want someone to do the discipline for them. But others can’t discipline for us. It has to be us.
We will either endure the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret — one is beneficial and one is not. You decide which is best. Hebrews 12:11, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.â€
When parents raise ill-mannered, disrespectful children, we all suffer. Proverbs 29:15-17, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. When the wicked increase, transgression increases, but the righteous will look upon their downfall. Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.â€
The deeper problem contributing to the rise of rude children might not be poor family dynamics, a lack of leadership in our schools, or people neglecting church attendance. Instead the real bedrock issue is, to our own detriment, no one believes in consequences anymore.
